Overcoming OCD

"Some of you will know who I am, but I am not concerned with that anymore. I am here to deliver a message.
"When I opened that email and checked to see if I was accepted, I ran to my mom and hugged her with the biggest smile. Then, I did a summer program at MIT and met the best friends anyone could ever ask for. When it was time to start my freshman year, I walked through the infinite with more confidence than well, a pre-frosh who was just accepted into the best school in the world. I did well my first semester, with the help and support of my friends of course. Soon after, it was time for my first IAP. During the month of January I came home. I remember the terrible drive home. I couldn't stop thinking of equations and concepts that I just finished talking about with my peers. This seems common and normal, but the extent by which it took over my time was abnormal. When I arrived home, my thoughts became even worse. They were magnified tenfold. I knew something was wrong when I could not sleep, eat or shower. I was avoiding everyone. I felt like I was there physically, but not mentally. I could not finish what I wanted to do during IAP, which was to prepare for classes for the upcoming semester. When I could not take thinking about the same concepts over and over and over again for hours and even days straight, I finally broke down. I cried in front of my father and told him what was wrong. I knew what I had. It was an evil, monstrous imp in my mind, that did not give up. It was a malignant tumor in my head that would not stop growing. It was a soul-sucking fiend that was never satisfied. I diagnosed myself and saw a psychiatrist, who at first did not believe me. Oh, how wrong he was. After giving me some zoloft, it was already time for the next semester.
I could not keep up with the classes I was taking. I emailed my professors with page long emails asking them deep questions that were not relevant. I had the biggest urge to derive, prove and question everything I was taught. When I couldn't handle it anymore, I sought help from MIT medical. Thinking I was suicidal, they sent me to Cambridge Hospital. I spent the night there, scared and worried. I sent a text out to all my friends talking about where I was. They became extremely worried and visited me at the place where I went to next. I was delivered to the best hospital in the world actually. But, sadly they first sent me to a psychiatric ward, where they took away my cell phone, laptop, and any other electronic devices I had. I couldn't even tell my parents where I was. They just kept me there with no definite time of leave. I wasn't allowed to go outside on my own and there were mandatory check ups every 10 minutes. This was one of the most horrible experiences in my life. I was stuck with people with bipolar disorder, schizophrenia...etc. I felt so alone, so isolated, and just plain violated. Then I heard of an institute, an institute that was the best of its kind, just like MIT. An institute to make me better. I was fortunate enough to attend that institute for about 13 weeks. I met the best of friends there. People who were dealing with the same problems I was dealing with. There were definitely many ups and downs, but I survived. I took exposure response prevention therapy along with cognitive therapy and classes for healing. When it was time for my departure, MIT informed me that I would have to complete some steps before returning. I would need to take classes "somewhere else" before coming back so they could tell I was ready for the institute's course load. So I did exactly that. I took classes at Columbia University. Then I took classes at another university and I received all A's.
And here I am today. With the help of constant psychotherapy and medicines, and the unforgettable support of my friends, I was able to overcome Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Here I am today, writing this message. I am on summer vacation working as a teacher and a private tutor, with a whole bunch of experience points on my back.
Now what was the point of me telling you my deepest, darkest secret? I need your help. I need your prayers for me. I am applying again to MIT. My application is due on June 15th, and I find out around August if I got in. I did it once with early action, but now I need to do it again. I am nervous and anxious about the whole thing. But I am also confident and I feel strong. Please, pray or hope or just have faith in me. I don't need sympathy, but I need closure. This disorder is something that I have conquered, not by myself, but with the help of others. I wanted to let the MIT community know that OCD is not just a quirk or a little problem where people wash their hands too much or organize things too much. NO. It is much more than that. It is a crippling, mental disorder than is unbearable without help. But thank God that is over for me. I am ready for MIT.
I love MIT so much. I cannot express in words how much I have missed p-setting and staying up all night there. I want to again be part of the MIT community.
Don't take anything for granted. I know I will not anymore. Thank you for reading. I hope to see you soon. Live strong and forever MIT!" "

source: MIT confessions on facebook